Living Golden: Bachelorettes Talk About Friendships and Financial Freedom as We Age

8 minute read time.

Are you one of the millions who tuned in to watch the history-making first season of “The Golden Bachelor?” If so, there’s no doubt you remember Susan Noles and Kathy Swarts, two contestants who while vying for the Golden Bachelor’s heart, formed an unbreakable bond.

While neither walked away with the final rose, the duo says they came away from the experience with the best prize of all – a friendship that together, allows them to inspire others to live their best lives, no matter one’s age. “For both of us, I think the biggest thing is that we have been able to positively affect others’ lives and give people our age, in our generation, hope for their future,” says Swarts. “That, to me, is a gift that we’ve been given to pass on to others.”

Their massive following on social media and their Golden Hour podcast has given Swarts and Noles a platform to share their favorite advice on everything from finance to friendship. Here are some of the biggest lessons they say they’ve learned.

IT’S IMPORTANT TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR FINANCES, ESPECIALLY FOR WOMEN

New research from the Alliance for Lifetime Income shows women are less confident than men about various aspects of creating their retirement income. This was the case for Swarts, 71, who six years ago, tragically lost her husband to suicide. As she describes, he was an investment banker, who knew everything about finance. “He left this very detailed plan about investing money, and I was like, I’m an English major, I’m not doing that,” shares Swarts. “So, I hired a financial advisor who has been amazing [and] who has helped me navigate what I can spend.”

For Noles, who at age 67 is a bit younger than Swarts, saving for retirement is a work in progress. “It’s not easy, and I’m very grateful that I’m making money this year. Hopefully I’ll make more next year,” she says. “Sometimes I live beyond my means, but I work hard and replenish it. I’m still saving.”

The duo agree that for women who are coupled up, it’s important to have a seat at the table when it comes to finances. “One of the things that I’ve learned is many – not all, but many – women are not as educated about finances and planning and investing,” says Swarts. “I’ve talked to so many of my friends and said, ‘You need to learn this now. If you don’t, you are going to be a deer in headlights. Because typically, men die before women.’”

DON’T PUT OFF MONEY TALKS WITH YOUR FAMILY

Talking money with your family can be uncomfortable, but Swarts and Noles (who are both mothers and grandmothers) say it’s a must, especially as we age.

A non-negotiable for both of them is making sure their children are aware of their plans to age at home. “As you face retirement, you look at, how am I going to take care of myself? I don’t want to be a burden to my children,” says Swarts. “These are things that are uncomfortable and conversations that people don’t want to have.”

The loss of her husband taught Swarts an important lesson – don’t wait to talk through your desires for the future. “Unfortunately, I think a lot of people wait,” she says. “You can’t do that when you’re in the midst of this dramatic life change. The more you can have in place before it happens, the better it’s going to be for everybody.”

As you inch toward retirement, it’s also important to think, and talk about, what you want to leave behind. “We both want to leave a legacy to our children and to our family and yet we also want to be able to take care of ourselves,” notes Swarts, who says her financial advisor has been instrumental in helping her put together a plan for what she can afford to spend on herself as she looks to leave something to her children and grandchildren.

Related: Women Have Different Definitions of Retirement Success

TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS, BE A GOOD LISTENER

As we age, our social circles tend to shrink. One recent study showed that nearly one-third (31%) of seniors say it has been at least five years since they developed a new friendship.

In a short time talking with Swarts and Noles, it’s easy to see the two could teach a master class in friendship making. So we asked, how do they successfully make new pals? “I’ve never met a stranger,” says Noles. “I can always talk to anyone, and I think we make people feel welcome and that we’re here to listen to them and that we care. And I think that is a genuine trait people love.”

“People just want to be heard,” adds Swarts. “ They want people to say, ‘I hear you. You’re not invisible.”

PEAK 65 YEARS = AN “AGE OF POSSIBILITIES”

Like many others, Swarts and Noles don’t think of their Peak 65 years (and beyond) as a time to slow down, but instead, to pursue life’s passions.

“I don’t think I could ever retire… I always have to be doing something and preferably making money doing it,” says Noles, who is a former hair and makeup artist, in addition to being a wedding officiant. “I had a lot of clients go through a depression when they retired, especially the ones that still had a spouse, they didn’t know what to do with one another.”

Swarts says that even though she’s now in her 70s, she has as much energy as a 40-year-old, and it’s given her the zest she needs to live her best life. “For me, retirement means I get the opportunity to jump in and try new things, make money on some things, not on others, but live this energetic, full life,” she says. “Retirement should not be, thinking life is over and slowing down. It should be [asking], ‘What is it you want to do?’ Because now’s the time.”

Noles agrees. “The age of possibilities is 60 and up, there’s no telling what could happen. We’re living proof.”

See Also: To Maintain Their Retirement Lifestyle, Women Turn to Annuities